I know this has been done before, but over the last months I have compiled a list of things that I regard as more or less typical for contemporary Thai culture and expats living here.
20. You explicitely order HOT coffee, but are used to being asked later: “Hot or cold?”
19. Foreigners stop assuming you’re a sex tourist.
18. You don’t think names such as Wan Somporn or Supaporn are funny.
17. You have figured out how to effectively take off the elastics from food items in plastic bags.
16. When using English, the word Same has to be repeated once, otherwise it will not be understood, for example: Same isn’t same same as same same.
15. You hate it if they don’t have a ‘bum gun’ in public toilets such as in shopping malls and airports.
14. When watching a cover band, you love to hum along with John Denver’s classic: …. “Country rose, take me home”.
13. You are convinced that bad conditions in prisons and capital punishment by a firing squad is a mild solution to halt serious crime. In this respect Europe and USA are complete pussies.
12. Back at home in a restaurant you ask to “check bin”.
11. You realise that everything you wear is a copy.
10. You’re convinced sitcoms wouldn’t be half that funny without canned laughter and the enhancing sound effects.
9. While watching, the ugly ladyboy and half retarded guy always manage to make you laugh out loud.
8. Tuk-tuk drivers and the ladies from the massage shops stop bothering you; they all know that at this time you’re on your way to the local pub.
7 . Unless you’re British not from Manchester city, you’re a dedicated Manchester United or City fan, even though you wouldn’t be able to locate the team’s city on a map.
6. You gave up blogging years ago, since you feel that nowadays there’s not that much special going on anymore.
5. You’re convinced the morality of the youth is in decline and promises nothing good for the future.
4. Your wife isn’t that concerned, but then again, she’s half your age.
3. You stopped trying to fully understand your Thai partner years ago.
2. Each time you’re surprised to notice that practically all farang tourists are very white tall people with big noses.
1. Claxons do really sound like ‘peck-peck’.